The Tyra Banks Show was a photocopy of a photocopy of Oprah that was xeroxed on a copy machine smeared by years of butt cheek scans. From 2005 to 2010, Tyra used her talk show as a platform to imitate the Queen of Talk and exhibit her lack of self-awareness. Who can forget when Tyra pretended to have contracted rabies from a dog for no discernable reason other than a love of rolling around on the floor? Or the time she wore a prosthetic nose for an exposé on the lives of strippers because heterosexual strip club patrons would totally recognize the host of America’s Next Top Model?
My all time favorite Tyra moment was Tyra's take on Oprah's iconic “You get a car! You get a car!” give-a-way. With the enthusiasm of the Mighty O, Tyra told her studio audience they would go home with a jar of Tyra’s “eye and anything cream,” the beauty secret that made her the hottest supermodel on the planet—a jar of Vaseline bedazzled in $100 worth of Swarovski crystals.
http://www.vice.com/en_au/read/i-wore-vaseline-on-my-face-because-tyra-banks-told-me-to
"Drunk at the matinee" is a collection of candid poetry about stupid shit that we all experience from day to day.
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