Horror, Sleaze and Trash.

random-cuz-awesome:

gothomestead:

deadmomjokes:

random-cuz-awesome:

awenyddogamulosx:

ruthlesswoodcarver:

mothensidhe:

fatfury:

omgxchrissy:

cumleak:

deux-zero-deux:

demands-with-menace:

Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.

she wasn’t a queen. she was a pharaoh and wanted to be referred to as such. she even had her statues modeled after the male pharaoh’s statues to state her dominance and authority. she was actually one of the most successful pharaohs in all of ancient egyptian history and she reigned longer than any other woman in power in egypt.

damn no wonder she died and smiled for a trillion years afterwards

The fact that we know about her is marvelous.
the next Pharaoh after her Tuthmosis III  tried to erase Hatshepsut out of history ,chiseled her name off her monuments ,covered the text on her obelisks with stone,knocked down and defaced her statues .
she was even left off the list of pharaohs ..talk about some patriarchy bullshit
her name was lost for a couple of millennia, her body was found in a unmarked grave  in early twentieth century
sad part is in Egyptian belief is  if your are forgotten in the living world you don’t exist in the afterlife,so he was trying to kill her even in death 

My best friend throwing down some herstory. A+ commentary

She wore a fake beard, you guys.
She was the fucking boss.

If we remember her now does that save her from an awful afterlife?

I’m just picturing the Kemetic afterlife. All the Pharaohs are hanging out in some kind of swanky club, drinking and congratulating each other on being bros.
The doors slam open and Hatshepsut strides in, glorious, robes swirling, rocking the fake beard and the insane amounts of wealth and power. “Miss me, bitches?” 

Seriously, she wore male clothes. Not just the beard, but the clothes. The guys didn’t wear shirts! She was so adamant about being king that she walked around shirtless. And women didn’t have bras then! She walked around just like a man, boobs showing and all! She was a kingand proudly so! Yet everything that I find about her calls her a queen.
I’m just thinking that if she was near you, and you said “Queen Hatshepsut”, she’d slap the snot out of you.
No, she wouldn’t even slap.
She’d punch.

*taps mic nervously*
Um, pardon me. Let’s not forget the real story…
King Hatshepsut was not erased from history because she was a woman. There is no “patriarchal BS” going on. She was erased from history because Thutmose III was bitter that she had taken up so many years of what “should have been” his prime rule. She also re-opened trade with outside nations, which scared many Egyptians, who had a long policy of isolationism based on religious values. Also, she traced her lineage to the Egyptian mother goddess, who was goddess of ALL the gods and goddesses, which Thutmose III found threatening (he wasn’t her son, he was son of the and heretical.
The people loved her, however, so he couldn’t just erase her from the afterlife without a cause. So, he used the only thing he could— her affair with her lover. See, Egyptians believed in loyalty by the woman to her dead husband, so any affair after his death was worthy of death. So he used that as an excuse to ‘punish’ her, by which he really meant destroy her chances of coming back in the afterlife. So he erased her from all writing (because your name was your ticket to the after life), and kicked her out of her tomb into an unmarked one.
But then how do we know her name?
That, my friends, is the greatest love story of ancient Egypt.
Her lover found out about Thutmose III’s scheme to destroy her, so he detective’d her final resting place from servants and workers who had helped. Then he snuck in, a feat that, in their religion, meant he would be damned for eternity because he disturbed someone’s final rest. He broke into her tomb, and under a bench where nobody who came in after him could see, he chiseled her name so that she may go on to the afterlife.

and then, he died. because he wanted to go with her, so they could finally be together, without people judging.  Now you know the whole story.
An awesome lady, bereft of her lord husband, filled his shoes, uplifted the realm, and changed her world.
She fell in love with someone else, but the love was forbidden.
After her death and burial, her successor tried to erase her from time, space, and memory.
Her lover found out the plot, wheedled the location her body was disrespectfully removed to, broke into her tomb, forfeiting his own salvation, desecrated a wall in her burial chamber to write her name and ensure her salvation, and died in the dark recesses of the earth, pining and waiting to rejoin her whom he loved.
Hatshepsut - A Love Passing Death
WHY ISN’T THIS A MOVIE?!?!  SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!

Just in case anyone forgot about the amazingness that is my leading lady, King Hatshepsut…