how i learned to stop worrying and love the bottle

"The frustration sets in early. "Fuck, it's TEN, why am I not tired" . . . panic begins to creep in. The sober reality of my naive mistake hits home, hard and fast with the power of a runaway train in an early tragic Western. why why why why why WHY. Why are others so easily seduced by the oldest of instincts??? Why do others simply make the conscious decision to just succumb to the bliss of gullt-free rest. It's late now. So fucking late. I remember being a child, and staring at the ceiling of my bedroom for hours on end, sleepless. I was so offended by the arrogant insistence of my parents that I get a "full nights sleep". What the fuck ever that means. Didn't they KNOW??? Most of the world was awake! What were they doing? What was I missing? The feelings of isolation and seclusion were never so strong as then. I felt duped. A sucker. Here I was SLEEPING all this time, when there was life to be lived. A world waiting to be discovered."

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