E.T

I have to get a CT scan on my chest because I think I have lung cancer. Or Emphysema. Something like that, anyway, that’s not the point. So I’m sitting there in the waiting room and some fat Arabic woman is eating a little child. Kinda putting her whole mouth over the baby’s face. I try not to look so I watch Entertainment Tonight on the television and fill out my form.

It says, “Is there any chance you may be pregnant.” I leave it blank.

I give the opi mother fucker with a hand tattoo and black nail polish my form and sit back down. She see’s me watching E.T but she changes the channel to Judge Judy and smiles at me.

I wait for the hungry Arab to finish the baby and brace my self to be next.