Am i tripping out?

NOTE -

I dont want this to be wanky, seriously. Not drama and shit like that, but i have been hearing this a lot lately. I know i cant spell really well and some times i come across mad crass and pervy but i feel like this is not a good illistration of my personality. My character and values. Maybe having a face and being tangible was never a good idea. Putting a name to the face. I always worry what my girls parents wouyld think about all this sillyness, and i know its all not very important and i dont belive my self to be a hype or even worth the conversation, i still stress that im not ever going to live up to an expectation i can some times portray. I dunno, this turned gay and wanky and drama, i didnt want to be that kind of dude, ever. Its hard to say what i mean, really.

RECIEVED -

> Hey there....> I just wanted to tell you, personally, how great I think your site is.> It's inspiring... actually, I think I'm going to jerk my labia off after I > get done writing this. > I'd like to know what inspires you to do the work that you do. It's > offensive and one of the lowest forms of "expression" I've ever seen. Are > you attempting to reach horny men or the artistic 20 somethings or both? > It's a sad reality that so many women are willing/ seeking ways to exploit > themselves. Are you just the middle man supporting the decision of the
> supposed willing participant (insert: woman showing herself in a *dare i > say* explicit, manner..)? Or are you a small cog in a growing industry > that turns women into SEXUAL OBJECTS? aka your site, millions of other > blogs, porn, need i go on? > Is this the way women like to be shown? Sexy creatures that should be > *beautifully* showcased. For a male's hard on? For a man's pleasure?> This is where I should say that.... I AM NOT A LESBIAN. Good forbid (but, > I do like getting off to two girls.. hehe!) > Sexuality is one of our most innate human traits and desires... however, > the exploit of our sexuality is almost a tragedy. And it's kind of > everywhere. Keep up the good work!

> Tharin Beemanwww.tharinbeeman.tumblr.com


SENT -

Hey Tharin,

Hmm, i didnt know exactly how to respond to this but i didnt want to wait on it and give it to much time to fester in my head and let my ego get the better of me, because im actually glad you contacted me. I want to address this now while im thinking and drinking so it can be a open thing, something i havent contrived.

I have been debating all this my self and have spoke to many friends and family about it all. Its something that HAS come up before at a party with my girl friends friends and i have been taken aback by it all. I wouldn't think my self like that, but maybe i can c ome over that way for sure, defiantly.

Im not exactly sure what to say - but im always interested in the truth. No delusions. Esspecially from my self, and i dont/cant find the right way to justify or explain what the site is all about. Aside beautiful in the madness of it all. In its lewdness. It evokes, and you know, it works- the HST girls is a section i stand behind proudly because all the girls are intelligent, free, open and more importantly passionate about the art works they are creating, wether you can credit them or not. i cantfeel the way you feel about sexism the same way i cant feel a black mans pain over racism. it simply is, what it is. Im not here to hide it, or instill it, but shit yeah - ill throw it ou there. See HOW it does get a response, how it is percieved. Dont you find that interesting? A cog,
okay fair enough, but im not the machine. I mearly present the way i want a world to engage in. Communication, and not even on a literary or intelectual level, just the fat getting chewed. Every day mullings, the photos are simplu a fucking fun time had by all and a great way to share shots and styles of modeling.

I dont want to be preachy, and i am going to post this on my blog but not in a fuck you kinda way, rather lets see what people think. If this is a negative thing im doing, or what, you know? I preach communication, lets communicate - how could i do this better?

Again, dont want to be preachy or come off like a wanker - just chewing the fat.

Ben